February 1, 2010

a day in the life of my night stand....

check cha check cha check it out!!
listen ya'll, before i jump in to bed, i have to have the essentials at my side (bubbler, ganj, water, snackie-- in this case, an apple with peanut butter). that way i wont have to get up from my cozy blanket- burrito roll-up-- at any time. my least favorite thing ever is getting out of bed when im stoned and about to pass out. seriously. it takes major coaxing. i consider the pros and
cons. a conversation with myself typically plays out like this:

me: "i'd really like some more mowables. my tastebuds need new flavors!"
me: "no way dude. im way too fucking high. i cant feel my legs!"
me: "but imagine how happy you'll be once you've tackled the fridge and you're back in bed... keep your eye on the prize!"
me: "nope. it's just not gonna happen. i'll be miserable now without a snack, but i'll feel better in the morning, without the added guilt!"
me: "you're a pussy. don't you have to go pee anyways? don't be such a lazy stoner."
me: "stop trying to trick me"
me: "just get up and go to the bathroom. maybe you'll take a detour to the kitchen, maybe you won't. "
me: "no way dude! i don't need to use the restroom, i just went!"
me: "you might as well just go again. so you dont have to get up at 3am...."
me: "well when you put it that way...i do kinda have to go potty. and if i get up, i mean, i might as well get something from the kitchen while im at it..."
me: "gotcha. now it's inevitable. my powers of persuasion worked! you're a true sucker."
me: "dang."

this is a very accurate example of my internal dialogue. happens every night. SUXXX!


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